Clause and Effect – 158 words
I had to do it.
I mean, have you seen all the press that stupid Elf on the Shelf has been getting lately? Cavorting with Barbies, snorting powdered sugar, pooping on cookies?
He lands Barbie and I’m stuck with ol’ Mrs. Claus? Come on.
Seriously, it’s as if people have forgotten I’m the reason for the Season.
Er, well, you get my drift.
I didn’t think anyone’d notice. People leave me cookies all the time. What’s the big deal about sampling a wee bit early? A man’s gotta drown his sorrows somehow.
Who knew she’d turn me in for taking a bite? Just one bite. OK, so it was out of fourteen cookies. Perhaps I should have stuck with two. But quality control, I tell you.
Now here I am, locked up. Until the 24th, at least. Because no matter what fame that idiot Elf claims, I’m still Big Man on Campus come the 25th.
Take that, Elf.
Hee hee hee. I couldn’t resist, especially after a friend told me a mysterious someone had taken one bite each out of fourteen of the Christmas cookies she had just baked. She blamed her child, but I maintain it could have been Santa himself.
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