Throwback Thursday: My Einstein (patterned after Edgar Allan Poe’s ‘The Raven’)

einsteinEinstein was my first cat, a gloriously fat and fluffy Maine Coon whom I adored, as you can see from that marvelous 1989 senior pic over there on the side. Yes, I loved that hat. And that hair. And that sweater.

My guess is this was an assignment for senior English in high school, to write a poem in the style of somebody else. Enjoy.

My Einstein (patterned after ‘The Raven’ by Edgar Allan Poe)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a pile of chemistry problems that were quite a bore-
While I struggled, pencil gnawing, suddenly there came a clawing,
As if something gently pawing, pawing at my bedroom door-
“‘Tis my silly cat,” I muttered, “clawing at my bedroom door-
Out of food and he wants more.”

Open here I flung the door wide, when, with hunger a force at his side,
In there strode my giant Einstein weighing 15 pounds or more.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord of jungle, turned and walked to the bathroom door-
Perched upon the bathroom scale then just inside the bathroom door-
Meowed and whined and licked the floor.

Then this innocent cat beguiling my distraught face into smiling,
By the cute and irresistible little face he wore,
“Though you think you’re far from fat, you cat,” I said, “no more, and that’s that!
Silly, warm, and cuddly cat wandering through the house’s floors-
Tell me why you think you should get what’s behind that cupboard door!”
“Hungry!” meowed he, “I want more!”

But my Einstein still beguiling my mad fancy into smiling,
Straight I sat on toilet seat in front of cat and bowl on floor;
Then, within the cupboard seeking, for something to feed my sweeting,
Found, the sack most empty, thinking why this devious cat on the floor-
Why he meowed while I was working for he already knew before;
“You ate it all, THERE IS NO MORE!”

One Reply to “Throwback Thursday: My Einstein (patterned after Edgar Allan Poe’s ‘The Raven’)”

  1. Pretty accurate! When we moved to the big house, Einstein once chewed through the backstock catfood bag in the garage and had it half gone by the time we decided we needed it.

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