Flash Friday Fiction: Brotherly Love

Lyme Park House & Estate. CC2.0 photo by Purpura Mare Asinus.
Lyme Park House & Estate. CC2.0 photo by Purpura Mare Asinus.

Brotherly Love (255 words)

“There’s a ghost in there.”

“Is not.”

“Is, too! My brother says so. Says it’s a lady who died.”

“How?”

“I dunno. But she was pretty, he says.”

“Girls, pretty? Yech.”

“Sometimes I think Abby McAllister is pretty.”

“I’m telling! I’m telling!”

“Better not. Or I’ll tell your mom about the time you peed in the vent and blamed the cat.”

silence

“That’s what I thought. Wanna go in?”

“In? What for?”

“To see the ghost, dummy.”

“Uh, there might be spiders in there.”

“Yeah, there might also be treasure. C’mon, ya chicken.”

“Frankie?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t feel so good about this. I … I think something just touched me.”

“What, like a creepy hand?”

“Yeah! Like a creepy hand!”

“Geez, I was just kidding. Calm down.”

“But … but …”

“I swear, there’s nothing in here.”

“Wait, did you hear that?”

moaning

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“Look who’s peeing now.”

“Let’s get out of here!”

“I can’t – something’s got me!”

“What do you mean, something’s got you?”

“Mmmppffh–”

“Frankie? Frankie!”

silence

“OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod. I … I … swear on my mother’s grave, I’ll … I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll go to church every Sunday. I’ll help old ladies cross the street. I’ll …”

“… Do your brother’s chores for the next six months?”

“Yeah, yeah! Just let me out of here.”

shuffling noises

“Frankie, is that you?”

“I am the ghost of Frankie Past!”

“Aaaaaaaaaa! I’m getting out of here!”

running feet

“Frankie?”

“Yeah?”

“Here’s that twenty bucks I promised. Totally worth it.”


This week’s novel inspiration: Hound of the Baskervilles, Arthur Conan Doyle’s tale starring celebrated detective Sherlock Holmes, who uses his (arrogant) genius to solve murders against a backdrop of a legendary, terrifying hellhound.

Story elements (base your story on any TWO of these elements; be sure to tell us which two you chose. Reminder: please do not use copyrighted characters).

* Conflict: man vs man
Character (choose one): arrogant detective, retired doctor, a lord under a family curse
Theme(s) (choose one): cunning, guilt, superstition
Setting: isolated country manor


We got 240-260 words to tell our story, based on at least two of the story elements listed above. I chose conflict, theme, AND setting. I wanted to write a story that was entirely dialog. This one, I guess, is 95% so, since I offered some stage direction. What do you think?

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